The Checkpoint of Internship
It is small yet so big in a nutshell.
“This mail is to share with you that based on your interview performance. You have been put into the Satisfactory Performers Group — i.e., you marginally missed out on clearing the hiring bar.”
My first rejection!
It took me literally a week to overcome the disappointment the above statement had brought with it.
Alexa, take me to 2017!
We have our 10th board exams in three months. I sit on the first bench while the counselor explains the prospective career paths.
Me: Sir, thanks for sharing such beautiful insights about every stream with us. However, I have a question that you might think is weird, but I still want to ask.
Counselor: Yes, yes, go on! No question is weird.
Me: Sir, which stream and which career path should one take to get settled at the earliest?
Without a pause, he threw at me, “Crack IIT!”
And here I was preparing for JEE 2019. The rest of the story is similar to Vaibhav’s in Kota Factory Season 1. I also had similar friends, a crush and Jeetu Bhaiya. The only contrast is I lived with my family and got good food.
Alexa, fast forward to 2019!
I understood I was not IIT material and hence ended in IIIT Delhi (one extra I ;))
However, no institute, not even IITs, guarantees you a placement or self-independence after graduation. Hum to naadan parindey, hume iski samajh kahan.
Screwing up my first semester badly in the illusion of ’a settled life,’ the peer pressure finally opened my eyes.
I realized that ending in a good and decent college is just the beginning, the first step towards building a career. I left behind the illusions from the second semester and vowed to do anything to get a good placement. Many people came here to ‘study,’ but I did not. I always wanted a ‘settled life’ as early as possible. A decent job for me is highly crucial. Why it is vital is out of scope for this blog XD. I believe I worked to my full potential in my second, third, and fourth semesters to get good grades, maintain a decent CGPA, and work on my competitive programming skills. However, I remained and am a very average student among my peers after all this. But this thought of being average is good for practicality but toxic for your path of success. Although I could not make it to top students, I believed in myself. Every time this thought demoralized me, I told myself, “Kuchh na kuchh to ho hi jaaega.”
Two companies did come for diversity hiring in my third semester, but I could not make any of them. This did not dishearten me much because I waited for the main internship drive. Nevertheless, one more company approached diversity hiring. I took the test without any expectations. Voila! I had cleared the examination and would be interviewed in the next month. This was the first time that some company showed acceptance for me. I was ecstatic. I started preparing for the interview. I practiced questions, worked on my communication skills. I gave mock interviews to my friends, talked to some seniors, and whatnot! I was also a bit nervous on the D-day as everyone would be. I gave the best shot possible but ended up getting rejected. As I went through the sentence written at the blog’s starting, my heart sunk. I read the email repeatedly, but it took me a long to absorb it. I had no choice but to accept the rejection.
What followed next was a week of the break to recollect my determination, strength, patience, and enthusiasm. But even after a week, I hardly had any hope. My practice became loose, and I kept bunking practice sessions. I avoided discussions about internships with anyone because what I would be facing next would be serious competition. Apart from the competition, a fear, an inferiority complex pestered me. I had concerns like what if all my friends were in, and I was not because that would be a tender time where the relationships would be at stake. Believe it or not, relationships are hard to manage when your friends are your competitors too. One of my friends went to the extent of asking me, “Kesar, would you still be friends with me if you ended up getting an internship, but I did not?” This took me aback because I used to think I would be the one without any opportunity in my hand. However, to answer this question, I said, “Why won’t I? You will have to make an effort in the friendship. It would be easy for me and challenging for you. Vice-versa, if you get one and I did not, then I will have to overcome my negative feelings to feel happy for you.”
To distract me from these tensions and concerns, I watched web series. I completed the two seasons of Family Man when the internship drive was just a week ahead. After switching off the TV after the last episode ended, I got a call from my friend.
“Have you started preparing for the drive?”
“Umm…not really. I did for the company that rejected me. From then, my practice has been on and off.”
“I think we should start as it is going to start in the next week.”
My heart thudded against my chest as reality dawned over me. In the two days, my inbox contained a calendar that had the list of the companies coming in the first week. This time I did not have many expectations but to grab one decent internship opportunity. FAANGM was literally out of the league of my expectations.
In the first company, I had decided to underperform, but the fear of whether I would get an internship or not compelled me to perform to my potential. But I was not selected. And for that matter, an incident happened that took away from me all the hopes. In one of the tests, the instructions asked to use Mozilla Firefox. My camera worked properly, but I do not know how it did not work as soon as I switched it on in the Firefox browser. The test timer started, but I could not attempt the questions. I tried all I could, but five minutes got wasted, and I could not even read the question, let alone try and answer them. Panic surrounded me, and I messaged the junior placement manager regarding the issue. He directed me to the test coordinator, who also denied doing anything. I grew anxious and called the general manager of the placement committee. She asked me to mail her the issue, and the company restored my test. But this had taken away from me all the energy to perform in the test. I realized that this company had smoothly slipped my hands.
I took two tests the next day and two more on the third day. However, every time the list of shortlisted students arrived, I could not find my name in it. But on the third day, a list came with my name written on it. It was not from any test I took but from the direct interview opportunity from the company where I got a chance to be a mentee. My interview was scheduled for the very next day. Adrenaline flowed throughout my body as I broke this news to my mom. Only one thought was in my mind: I had to make this one; I cannot afford to get rejected here. I started my preparation when at 8 pm, it struck me that I did not have the interview uniform: the blue shirt. Me, my mom and my sister rushed to our nearest market, and after a struggle of forty-five minutes, we got the shirt. We headed home, and my interview was scheduled for 9 in the morning.
The interview process went through the day. ( I am planning to write about the process in my next blog XD, this has already gone too long) After waiting for hours, we learned that there were 28 selections. Damn! This was huge. Only one thing kept running in my mind: I have to be in those 28.
Meanwhile, I got an interview slot from one more company. I did not want to sit for this because I wished my process to end with my name in those 28. The placement manager said that he would forward the list of the selected students soon. I kept waiting until 2 am, but my inbox remained dry. I woke up at 8 in the morning. The interview for the following company was scheduled for nine, but I still did not receive any mail about the shortlisted students. I finally asked the general manager to release the list, to which she replied that the list had already been released. I was shocked, thinking that I might not be selected as I did not get the selection mail. However, keeping up the courage, I asked her to mail it again, to which she replied, “Congratulations 👏 You are offered by Microsoft.”
This message was so liberating that I cannot even explain. I checked my inbox. The email had my name. I dropped my phone, and tears rolled down my cheeks. My happiness had crossed its boundaries. Images flashed through my eyes, and I remembered the struggle I went through (a struggle very different from what you might think of). I hugged my mom and sister and called my father to break the news. I was ecstatic. I felt relieved and free. Now I have an internship that lightened my heart, and it was a whole different feeling. I could already feel the headstart I got.
Although 27 other students got it, and for that matter, the fact that around a thousand students throughout the country are more or less on the same boat as I am in does not let me feel mediocre but a proud girl. I know I am not the first of a kind, but in my nutshell, I am the first of a kind, and this is huge :)
